You Like Your Bird
More Than Your Kids
- Your bird can throw food all over the floor. When your kids do,
they don't get dessert.
- Your bird can scream and make noise all day long. If your kids do,
they're sent to their rooms.
- Your bird can put holes in the curtains, and clothing. If your kids do, they're grounded.
- Your bird can make a mess anyplace it wants to. When your kids do,
they're sent to bed an hour early.
- Your bird can tear up your favorite magazine. If your kids do, they
have to pay for it from their allowance.
- Your bird can walk all over the sofa and the kitchen table. When your kids do,
they can't watch TV for a week.
- You keep treats in your pocket for the bird. If your kids keep treats in their pockets
you show them how to run the washer.
- When your bird wants you to play with it, you do. When your kids want you to play with
them you say "later."
- When your bird wants a snack, you give it. When your kids want one you say "Not until
- If your bird won't eat vegetables, you try different recipes. When your kids won't,
you make them sit at the table until they finish.
- You will spend an hour making bird bread, but you won't spend 5 minutes making jello.
- When you get a roll of film developed, there are more pictures of the bird than of your kids.
- Your Christmas cards have a picture of your bird instead of the kids.
- You talk so much about your bird, that your friends at work don't even know you have any kids.
- Instead of attending the PTA meeting, you spend the evening teaching your bird to talk.
- You take courses and learn html to put up a web site about birds. When your kids are failing Math,
you just hire a tutor.
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